Sakura's Evil Plan
by riisax
Summary: Non-Massacre. Sakura has an evil plan for... some boys! And she uses this plan to get even more done. Like getting a boyfried. Rated M to be on the safe side. Itachi x Sakura  and InoxKiba . ONE SHOT. NO LEMON AHEAD.


**Summ: **Sakura has an evil plan for... some boys! And she uses this plan to get even more done. Like getting a boyfried. | Itachi x Sakura, rated M just to be safe

Dedicated to a friend of mine. I had this idea when he showed me some… strange… video xD tnx x3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters. It belongs to Kishimoto-sensei, of course!**

**AN:** Please be kind. English is not my mother language, so there will be some mistakes. I hope you review, since that would make me very happy. Also, if you have any questions, do not hesitate to ask.

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Sakura's Evil Plan  
act one: the conversation

It was a hot summer day and two teams of Anbu were supposed to come back that day. It was quit in the Anbu Headquarter and Sakura thought she could need a cold shower before her shift in the hospital. When she was finished taking that, she had still enough time before her shift, she decided to sit down on one of the tables in the Headquarter's canteen.

Meanwhile, the two Anbu teams came in at nearly the same time. They headed all into the locker room, straddling out of their sweaty clothes. They all went for the showers, not bothering to fold their clothes. Every one of them had a bit of relief on their faces when the cold water hit their skin.  
"Itachi-niisan, could you lend me some soap please? I forgot mine at home…" asked Sasuke his older brother who was in the same team as him.  
"Sure, sweetheart", he teased as he was walking over to his little brother and ruffled his hair… and looked down to a, let's say, very private area. "My, my, Sasuke, I thought _you_ would be… bigger."  
You could see pure shock in the younger's face and a big smirk on Itachi's. He handed Sasuke the soap and left. From another shower, you could hear Kakashi chuckle. "Hey, Itachi-san, he's always been small, as far as I can remember", he laughed. Sasuke turned bright red.  
"Really, when did you see _him_?" choked an amused Kiba.  
"I think that was when he graduated from the academy. We went on a mission and he was taking a bath in a small river."  
"You're not talking about my penis, are you?" asked the still red-faced Sasuke.  
"Would you rather like us talking about your nipples? Don't bother Sasuke, size doesn't matter. At least not _that_ much. Look at me, I am rather short, but thicker. The girls like that, kinda." Neji brought himself with a big smirk into the conversation.  
"Neji's right, size doesn't matter. I think you have pleased many of your fan girls." Said Kakashi, who was now scrubbing soap into his silver hair.  
"Actually, not." Sasuke's voice was shy, and sounded more like a whisper.  
"Well, Sasuke, your brother has always been better. He's taller, sexier, and stronger. He has this sexy six pack. And even the color of his hair is more vibrant.", said Kiba bursting out in laughter.  
"Did you just say that I am sexy? I knew you were gay. Thanks anyways. And hey, I got these muscles by training. I am not like you lazy people reading _Icha Icha_, or eating _tons of chips_." said Itachi with his cold yet sexy voice.

Neither was amused by his statement. Yes, Itachi was best. And he knew that.

"Don't say anything about Icha Icha, let me be pervy, but still, I am good." said that old pervy man, aka Kakashi. The boys laughed. Funny little fight they had there, in the locker room.  
What none of them knew, Sakura forgot something there. She came back and listened to their talks. She was quite amused and forced herself not to laugh, but after Itachi made clear he had the biggest and coolest and best penis ever, the boys began to turn off their showers. Sakura quickly made her way out. That's how she would get them all.

act two: the plan  
Monday: Kiba

"Hey Kiba-kun." Sakura said with her sweetest voice.  
"Hey Sakura-chan. What's up?" said Kiba, smiling at her.  
"Itachi is sexy, don't you think so?"  
"Ewww! Don't tell Ino! Please!"  
"Oh? I shall not tell her? But she's my best friend. But… If you do me a little favor…"  
"What kind of favor?"  
"Treat Naruto to some ramen since I don't have the patience for this… I have to do something this week."  
"That's all? Okay, thank you, Sakura-chan. Bye."  
"See you, Kiba-kun."

Tuesday: Neji

"Hi Neji-kun. How are you today?" said Sakura with a smile. He nodded to indicate he was feeling well.  
"Well, you say size doesn't matter? And the girls like your thickness? Does Hiashi-sama know about this?, she then asked still smiling. The man with the long hair paled and gulped. "You won't tell him", he muttered in shock then.  
"Oh yes I will, unless you do me some favor. Treat Naruto to some ramen today, since I am too busy with my shift in the hospital." Neji just nodded and gulped once more. Sakura turned away and waved goodbye. Her plan was all going well.

Wednesday: Kakashi

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, didn't Tsunade-sama forbid you to read Icha Icha on your missions with Anbu?"  
"Uhm, yes she did, why are you asking anyway, Sakura-chan?" said Kakashi and he had a bit of worry in his eyes. Was she going to tell Tsunade, that he did read Icha Icha on the last mission? Sakura turned away to leave. "Treat Naruto to some Ramen today, and I won't tell her."

Thursday: Sasuke

It was Thursday morning when Sasuke found a note in his postbox. The note read following:  
"_Unless you want your lovely fan girls to know about the real size of _little Sasuke_, then you better treat Naruto to a good ramen today. And Tomorrow, too. And best, the day after. Yes, Ichiraku is closed on Sunday, but you can make ramen yourself. Good look, dearest Sasuke._

_Sakura."_

Damn that Haruno brat.

Friday: Itachi

The next day, the other Uchiha found a note in his postbox, too.  
"Dear Itachi,  
I know you hate girls and all that stuff, but it has occurred to me, that you, as a well-known Anbu-captain, are not as innocent as everyone believes you are. I know about the porn you watch when you have several days off. I know about how you think about your little, well let's say big, member down there. And I believe there are some men in Konoha who think that theirs' is bigger. I hope you are not planning to make the whole town talk about penises, because that really would be awkward.  
So, if you don't want me to tell your family and the dearest Hokage, I wish you could do something for me. So, how about you come visit me this evening and we can talk about things?

Sakura."

Damn that Haruno brat. He would go, yes, definitely, he would.

It was 7 p.m. when he rang her doorbell. He wore casual clothes this time, not bothering to put on ninja clothes, because he did not believe that her wish was about some mission. Or sparring. Or acting in his uniform as her slave. Damn his fantasies.  
She opened the door with a cute smile on her face. His eyes grazed over her. She had her hair tied up into a sweet bun, wore glasses, a plain white shirt, through which he could see her black lacy bra, grey very hot hot pants and, matching (or rather not) snoopy slippers. Despite the slippers, she looked gorgeous. "I did not know you have glasses", was the first thing he managed to say. She cursed something not understandable and ripped the glasses of her nose, then stepping away from the door to let the Uchiha in. _He looks good.  
_"So dear, Ms. Attention Whore Haruno, what is your wish?" he asked, annoyed.  
"Are you in a hurry, Uchiha?"  
"Not really, but to say the least, I am not amused."  
"Go on a date with me."  
"You could have asked this without threatening me, dear."  
"Ask you, yes. But make you agree? Probably not. You're not into girls. Uchiha, I don't even like you that way, okay. It's just that all the girls say that I will never get anyone to date with me."  
"Oh, why is that. You're a cute girl. Hm, maybe because threatening is kinda… intimidating? But okay, when would you wish our date to happen?"  
"Would tomorrow be okay with you?" she looked to the ground, ashamed.  
"Hn. I'll pick you up. Around six, if that's okay. You don't have to dress up, but please wear something more… covering." With that, he turned to leave with her following him to the door. Before she could close the door behind him, he turned around again, leaning down to her and planting a soft kiss on her cheek. She acted like nothing had happened and closed the door after him, but stood there, holding her hand to her cheek, letting the feeling sink into her.

act three: the date

It was 5:50 when Sakura's doorbell rang. She was half finished with putting her jewelry on. She wore a pleaded white skirt and a green top, green like her eyes. She rushed to the door, opening it quickly. She pulled him into her house smashing the door shut. "You're early" she said, he hnd. She stood infront of a mirror, putting her second earring on. Then it was time for her necklace. It had s silver chain and a pink stone. That necklace really was beautiful. When she had problems with getting it on, he helped her. Hit cold fingers touching her gently. That sent a stange feeling through Sakura's body.  
Itachi was all gentleman that day. He tool her to a nice restaurant. They had a nice talk about interesting stuff. Itachi was impressed by Sakura's knowledge about medical jutsus. But that wasn't all, she was all interesting to him, knew a answer to all of his questions. He really was impressed. But she was impressed, too. He wasn't that ass he was around the others. He treated her very well.  
He even walked her home, like on a real date, and for his farewell he gave her a gantle kiss on the lips, not the cheek like last time. It felt overwhleming for her. She blushed deep when he pulled away, but before be could finally leave, she kissed him back, again on the lips. He responded to her and deepened the kiss. They both felt so good at this.  
Finally, when they broke apart some time later, Itachi whispered: "I've known you for a short time now... but I think it is enough for me to say, I love that you." She didn't answer, she just kissed him again.

* * *

At the end of the week, Sunday, Sakura asked Naruto if he wanted to have ramen with her. He simply said he ate enough ramen for this month. Yes, Sakura's plan was not to torture the boys, her plan was to get rid of Naruto asking her for ramen.

**AN**: yeah that was pretty much it! poor naruto hehe. I might come up with a sequel, where the boys (including Naruto but maybe not Itachi) take revenge on poor Sakura. (and maybe including a lemon, which I wanted to do in this story, but it didn't fit. lulz) PLEASE REVIEW :3


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